today went for the last cg of the year. it was on a saturday night, very unusual from the weekday gatherings. at first i was a little upset about the last minute information and plans, because i was already planning to take the saturday off to chill and relax, maybe with weifeng or on my own. but from persuasion from sher, i went for it. she was playing for cg and my favourite worship song, Through it All by Hillsong. This song has ministered me many times, made me tear knowing how great God is.
& so I went for cg, not feeling the best of mood due to a long week. with many things going on, good and bad, honestly, i was just so tired from everything. But i am glad i have Sher to talk to before cg, made me feel a little better. Felt a little weird not being around the cg for so long. Managed to talk and catch up with some others too.
Cg started. had games and then worship. Started simple and then it was great. Felt so refreshed being back in the presence of God. Going through a long and tough week, feeling so far and drained, today really brought me back closer. Had a real long worship, to just flow in the Spirit and to receive the peace and rest from God. & when unexpected, God spoke, & I wrote it down in my notebook, because I don’t wanna forget it.
“No matter what happens, what you’ve been through, and what you think you’ve become, you will always be Danette to me, my beloved daughter. I’ll never let you go, no matter how much you think you’ve changed.”
I had to bold it to show how much those words meant. It just touched me and i kept tearing. Even as i type this in, I can’t help but tear. God is just so good. No matter how far you feel you are, no matter how dry you are in your christian walk, even when you feel that you aren’t a good christian, God is still near you, by your side, and whispering to you. Like what Bishop Dale Bronner said, God whispers to us, He doesn’t shout. & you can only whisper to someone when you are really close. That shows how close God is to us.
Then we went on to the word, about The Will of God.
About use reaching out to our friends because it is God’s desire for us to get our friends saved. That as we know God’s will, we will have a Confidence & Faith to do His will.
& so after that we prayed for our friends. Somehow in the midst of the sermon, I was reminded of my previous colleague & my two great guy buddies. God was showing me how they need Him in their life and He encouraged me to try again even though I have tried reaching my two guy friends for the longest time. That this isn’t a time to give up. So I will try my best again, these people mean so much to me, that I really don’t want them to leave this earth and not being in the same place as me. It just won’t be fair, because they have helped me through my ups and downs and have helped made me who I am.
Really glad for today. Felt so lifted and lighter.
Even took step to love Justy after cg today. Didn’t head back with her, but knew she had to rush to get stuff from tamp before heading back to sk, so i bought her soya milk & wrote a card for her. Things may not be the best between me and her cause we did drift abit, but here’s a little step to make things right. Was telling wf, maybe I have to start giving to take a step forward to heal and move on.
I am so thankful today. for God, for church, for the people around me. i am blessed, really blessed. God is good